You’re growing. How does that feel? Are you excited about it? Have you experienced menarche yet? How about wet dreams? Tell me about your crush? Are you in love already?
I am persuaded to call this period your best time of growth. So many changes are happening physically, socially, psychologically, behaviourally and sexually. This is the time to learn all about yourself, build an identity and form great habits. Once you grasp this, you will have reasons to choose the life you want to lead.
In your opinion, your era is different from that of your parents. You fear they may not understand how you feel or judge you prematurely. Granted. Maybe, you don’t have a good relationship with your parents. Hence, you are more inclined to talk to your peers than your parents.
Unfortunately, the friends you expect answers from maybe as clueless as you are. Just like you, they are experiencing adolescence for the very first time. Why do you give them so much credit? To be safe, why not talk to another adult you trust or Google instead?
You need an identity so badly. Everything you do goes to confirm your need for identity and acceptance. You want to roll with the ‘cool’ kids and be counted among the number. It is not necessary. Being cool shouldn’t be your priority.
How are you handling pressure from your friends? Peer pressure is not a bad thing if you surround yourself with friends who make good choices.
Accept who you are. Most importantly your looks. This is because other people see this and will easily make fun of your physical features. All the features people laugh at will be the ones other people will pay compliments on in future. The changes just started. Why are you grading an unfinished work? You are more than your looks. Your journey to self-discovery is a lifelong one. The faster you accept yourself, the faster you can concentrate on the things which make you outstanding and begin to shine.
Change is individualistic. I know you’re doing a lot of comparisons with several others. Understand your uniqueness. You’re growing at a different pace.
Speak up. Afraid of being rejected? Shy? Speak up some more. There is no glory in being timid. Timidity is not a sign of modesty or respect. Your aim should be to gather enough knowledge as possible.
About sexual health, there is so much to cover; reproductive health, STDs, sexual intercourse, sexual orientation and sexual abuse. Read a lot on these topics and ask questions before you experiment. Bad habits are easier to form than break, so choose wisely.
You have a whole life ahead of you. Take your time.
Also published on Medium.